I'll get better at this.

Whew! So now that I've gotten started, I guess I'll just set forth some ideas. This is Pre-Goal Step 1a.

Let's start with the easy stuff. Let's list things from the outside going in.

• Weight loss. I'm overweight. I will refrain from saying hurtful things to myself here. No comments please on how I look just fine or am beautiful from the neck up. This is about health. And I'm not healthy. Now take a step inward. WHY am I not healthy?
•  Sleep abuse. I kind of hate my body. I'm mad that it doesn't do the splits quite so easily, and that it's getting older. I'm pissed off that I now need sleep, and that if I look crooked at a second drink I get hungover AND gain three whole pounds. Just from looking. 
• Revamp my diet. I keep watching documentaries about food on Netflix that are scaring the meat out of me. Seriously, Netflix is slowly turning me into a Buddhist Vegan. Except I like meat. So, I suppose I want to plan my meals. Meat-free days of the week sound really, really hard. I'm going to do them anyway! Indian food is awesome for that. Thank you, Padmini, for the lessons.
• Exercise. Just doing things that make me joyful. I'll tell you a secret. I love Zumba. And Yoga. And that dumb little wii marching game. It always makes me smile. Seriously, just thinking of it makes me gleeful. So I'll add these things in every day. 
• Time Management. The Root of All Evil. Right now I've got so little to do, there isn't much to manage, but that's part of my problem. I'm high functioning when I have things to DO.
• Organization. Consistently manage all the things that happen as they happen.
• Anxiety. This is what botches my Organization and Time Management. Do It Now. Don't angst. That just makes it harder.  Commit to Flow.
• Meditation. To strengthen the Muscles of my Mind.

There I go freaking out! See how short those sentences got? That's how I panic. I lock into those tiny horrid thoughts. Maybe Klezmer isn't the best music for this. Wait a sec. Ok. Zen Asian stuff.

• Creativity. Commit to creating new things daily. Let myself play and learn new skills. Crocheting, paper flowers, writing!
• This will feed my desire to DO THINGS. I sometimes get so tied up in all this list-making, anxiety inducing, fearful planning that I count making To-Do lists as To-Doing

 That's my cue to go do some of this stuff. Freaking out + awareness = motivation. I think I'll go march on the Wii.